We had a friend visiting over the weekend so I didn't have the time to read blogs over the weekend. I've just read JaneB's last two posts about mental illness and her experiences and I'm now trying to get too upset (MrT will think that the bad American Chefs on TV are upsetting me). I'm totally in awe of JaneB's ability to write the truth about her experiences and mental health battles and one day I'll do the same (just not yet).
I don't believe in coincidences and it seems poignant to me that my 100th post is about the same subject that originally inspired me to start this blog. Perhaps it's time to face up to the truth and admit it in this public but almost anonymous forum but then (as I'm not really anonymous to everyone) perhaps not. Should I leave the past buried and hope it stays there or will being open about my "failings" mean that I deal with it making it less likely to return?
A why and an eavesdropping and a brief update
4 years ago
2 comments:
If you have already dealt with the past, then what is the point of bringing it back and dealing with it again? But if you have just covered it up and not dealt with it properly maybe it is worthwhile to do that after it has became quite distant and no longer upsetting? Whether doing it publicly and on your blog is debatable and you must decide what is best yourself. There are several other options...
Hi Marmoset. I'm partly sorry to have upset you, but partly glad because it means that you get it, that I'm not such a freak as I sometimes feel. For me, at least, I don't think this will ever be in the past - I've not really said much about the food thing because i understand it less well and also accept it less well than the depression, but its been around since I was a few years old, and the depression since at least my mid-late teens - they're parts of me. I might cope better or worse at different times; I know that I'm growing in self-knowledge and in the ability to stay balanced and to be sensible about my limits (it's dull being sensible - adult is dull with an a and a cross-bar!). But they'll never be past. Writing about them feels surprisingly good (although chocolate and bread consumption this weekend has been pretty bad), maybe because hiding and pretending are such hard work, and the fear of getting found out is very wearing... though I'm only 'out' to a few people at work and in my private life, and through my pseudonymous space - only one person has worked out who I am in real life and told me so - so I'm not that brave or public!
If you ever want to chat by email, I use mollimog at gmail dot com
And I think that you are in the flat bit of the east of the country just north of the 'home of heretics' Ancient University? If so, I have a meeting in said university city in early June - maybe we could do a blogger meet up??
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