Grrrrrrrrrrr

Marmoset is in a foul mood and is about to commence whinging - you have been warned!

MrT has taken to referring to our third bedroom (only if you live with a very tiny person) as "his room" or "his computer room" or "the computer room". Yes the room contains mostly his computer crap but that's because he's too darned lazy to put it away. To explain I married a man who's idea of clearing away the packaging when opening yet another (it was only a tenner) piece of internet/computer related junk is to drop it on the floor or any other surface directly next to him and leave it there. Usually when I finally ask if he needs it or can i throw it out I get a very huffy "I was just about to put it in the bin!" and I've discovered after 6 months of marriage that pointing out that it's been on the floor/coffee table/kitchen table/porch floor for over 2 weeks is not going to get a good response.

If I'm being fair I should realise that MrT has never had to share anything (living space, costs, household chores) before apart from his family as a child and his mother in later years. He did work away from home for a couple of seasons which involved sharing a room with other instructors but it's hardly the same as flat sharing. He's used to getting what he wants when he wants it with no questions or budgeting.

Still we are getting to an understanding over saving for unexpected costs (boilers dying etc) and that buying what I consider to be shite with money from the joint account is not acceptable.

Believe it or not I do love this man and I willingly chose to marry him knowing that sharing and thinking of others are not his strong points. My main concern is that we will both have to become a lot less selfish if we have children. This will be hard for both of us. He spends a lot of money on his toys and heading back to the mother county for family and community projects that he refuses to miss. I'm used to doing what I like - I left home for uni over 10 years ago now and I've lived on my own for a long time.

We're off back to the mother county for his brother in laws birthday party (50th) at the weekend and I'm pretty pissed off that I'm expected to take 1.5 days off work to attend yet another family event. I was going to have to take another whole day off (MrT's off on a walking training event for local school kids Sat - Sun evening) so that we could come back on monday but I finally put my foot down. It's only cost him £16 to get the train back on monday so I'm hightailing it back home on Sat morning so that I don't have to spend the weekend alone with the inlaws.

He's back and forth a lot at the moment and it's making him really unsettled. He was coping much better being away from his family when he wasn't running back there for this damned walking thing every couple of weeks. Maybe in the summer when it's over we can get back to normality and he might even start referring to our house as home again.

Sorry for the whinging I just struggle knowing that my husband doesn't consider his home to be with me but with his family 300miles away.