I think today I need to speak to Lady Boss if she's in and if not then I'm going to speak to Nice Lady in HR. I spoke to Nice Lady yesterday and she is aware (from another member of staff) of how Boss Man has been behaving towards me recently and she did say that I could go and talk to her about it confidentially. Yesterday I was all - let sleeping dogs lie...- but then MrT had to spend an hour with me crying last night.
Boss Man is "behaving" nice again but he's still being a twit. Yesterday he booked a meeting that we all have to go to for a time when I'm meant to be driving to another Big City for a symposium. I pointed out that I would get snarled up in hideous traffic if I left after the meeting and would arrive at hotel (in Big City Centre) but he didn't seem to mind. I have looked and everyone who's attending that meeting is free before lunch and I have sent a proposed new meeting time but he's ignored it so far. As he left yesterday he did his "stand right behind you and talk down to you" thing saying that we would talk about some "things" this morning. I know this doesn't sound menacing but I'm actually scared to go to work today. He's really cunning and he generally only gets shitty in person not in writing and in a closed office so that there's no witnesses. I know I should document it all (I am) and that I could ask for someone to come into the meeting with us but that's his main trigger - being made to look bad in front of other people.
I really really don't want to go to work today and now I'm being sick again and it's the only way that I can feel better. I'm trying to eat my bran flakes right now but it's too hard (this also sounds dumb I know). I have considered phoning in sick but then the other week I considered pregnancy as a viable option to avoid working with him for a while.
A why and an eavesdropping and a brief update
4 years ago
2 comments:
Oh, my... I hope it is not too bad for you today.
I seriously recommend having someone else with you in meetings with him. You need to stop him behaving this way to you! It takes two to tango, and he can only behave in this way, because you accept the closed door and you do not react to being treated badly, so he thinks it is ok to do that.
You are not a trigger of his "moods", nor having witnesses is, it is himself, and he should be made responsible for his behaviour.
Having a witness with you, or keeping the door OPEN so that everyone can see and hear what is going on is a thing you must do to protect yourself.
When I had a meeting from hell with my boss a week ago, we had the other prof there with us and he actually intervened when my boss went ballistic and started raising his voice.
I hope you do all steps necessary to end this nightmare soon! (I mean working for him)
Mountains of symnpathy/empathy
Here's hoping Lady Boss is helpful and kind and supportive - I HATE that someone else can make you, or anyone, feel this bad, but 'they' do it to me too, so I can understand how... insidious it all is. And how familiar habits just seem like the only response, however much your head disagrees.
Hoping things improve soon. And you have my email if you want to talk to someone outside it all...
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