The walls are closing in

One thing they miss out in the baby books and antenatal classes is just how claustrophobic motherhood is (disclaimer: I love both ERM and MrT more than anything and I know I'm very lucky to have them).

During the day I'm either at work or with ERM and in the evening I'm with MrT or Guides. Everyone NEEDS me to do stuff for them all of the time. ERM needs to be cared for and cuddled and played with and fed and entertained and changed and generally watched (she's a climber and explorer). MrT needs all of the above except changing and feeding - he can do those himself. There's a whole lot of insecurity in this house which I guess is normal. 10 months and a bit of separation anxiety is normal. Baby replaces husband as prime attention holder for wife results in husband seeking contact and reassurance that he's still loved.

At no point do I get any time to be me! I know that sounds ridiculously selfish since I go to Guides but even that is dependent on work and MrT's shifts. I don't get to run or do anything on my own or for myself. MrT tends to take large chunks of the days off we have together to do his hobby then wonders why I'm exhausted and stressed and want to sleep in the middle of the night rather than be all cuddly.

It is nice to be needed and loved but sometimes it would be nice to just have an hour or so to myself to do something other than at 3am!